A quiet day

We have all had a quiet day today. Ed is mostly sleeping; his breathing is at times very shallow and at other times something like panting. The few times his eyes have been open they look unfocused and dazed. When caregiver Nicole came to give him his bed bath, he winced as she moved him. We suspected a while ago that there may be a lesion on the back of his neck, but then it wasn't really bothering him, so nothing was done about it. Now I think it is bothering him, plus his neck has to be sore from having his head positioned to his left for so many hours to try to keep the mouth secretions out of his throat. He doesn't have the strength to lift his head on his own today.

Next door neighbors Bill and Ann Morgan stopped by this afternoon. The hospice nurse called to check on him, and we could have had the hospice home health aide come bathe him, but I chose to stick with Nicole rather than introduce another stranger into his world. Ed's brother Bob called tonight I suspect more to check on me than anything else. Debbie is staying again tonight with me, Sherry, and Melissa. I've had a rather rough time this evening--this is so unfair; Ed just did not deserve this to happen to him. Frankly, I have prayed that tonight is the end. I can't tell if Ed is suffering, but if he is, I just don't want that for him. I want him to be at peace, and if I can feel that he is, then I think I will be OK.