Christmas week

The week before Christmas, a support group friend said, "I just want it to be over." I didn't feel that way, nor did I feel dread as Christmas approached. I just felt a deep sadness because Christmas was always a big deal to us. I mostly was anxious for Ed's kids to have the gift I made them--a family tree that reflected all the research he had done, representing seven generations from his grandkids back through the ancestors from Germany. I designed it and had it printed, then I framed it, making one for each of the six kids and one for myself. I so wanted to give them something that would feel like it came from him.

The Giesman gathering at Becky and Tim's house on Sunday, December 23, seemed to go so fast with hardly a chance to catch up with everybody. Then on Monday morning, I flew to Cedar Rapids. There, too, it felt like a whirlwind of things to do to get ready for Santa's arrival and for the Christmas buffet (all appetizer foods) on Christmas Day, a tradition that we started when Melissa was little. Will was the cute baby you'd expect a three-month-old to be; he was very good in church Christmas Eve, captivating the people around us with his smiles. Santa was very good to us all, and having Mark's family join us for the buffet capped off a very nice Christmas Day.

Melissa and Mark both worked on Thursday, so Grammy and Will spent the day together. Will is now almost 14 1/2 pounds, and carrying him around and especially stooping while holding him reminded me that my knees don't like to do such things too often. We both did just fine, however, and Melissa really didn't need to call every few hours to check on us. The week went quickly, probably because I was so occupied the whole time doing things with Melissa and Mark and Will and Mark's family.

Overall, this Christmas included familiar things and traditions--though I never did put up the Christmas tree--as well as some new wrinkles. Ed and I always said Christmas Eve and Christmas Day were supposed to be for the kids being with their own families, and he and I would gather them at another time during the holiday season. I felt so guilty for having "violated" our guideline by going to Melissa's for Christmas Eve. My support group friends' response to that guilt was that because Melissa invited me and wanted me there, I had permission to disregard our guideline and it wasn't any kind of betrayal. That didn't stop the feeling I had, however. But now, as I think back on past years, I realize that in 2005 we had the Giesman gathering here on December 24, and I remember people staying until pretty late. So I guess I needn't feel guilty about the timing of my trip.

Today I went to the Columbus Museum of Art to see the special Monet exhibit. I don't claim to be schooled in art, but I have always appreciated paintings from the era of Impressionism. It was the only kind of art exhibit Ed could get interested in seeing, probably because he knew how much I liked that. A couple of Christmases ago, Ed got me a print of one of Monet's most famous paintings, and the following Christmas, I had it beautifully framed and gave it to him. So it seemed fitting to close out this Christmas week looking at some art that stirs my soul and reminds me of some things we shared.