Another birthday passes

Today would have been Ed's 75th birthday. I know I've said it this way before, but it still does not seem possible that it has been 3 years since he died. My friend Ruth Ann from my Hearts group said recently that she thinks she and I will always feel like a piece of us is missing, that from all our stories of our lives with our spouses, we two had the best marriages and a closeness and love that surpassed what others of our group had. I would say that usually the days leading up to June 16, the anniversary of Ed's death, or other significant dates have been emotionally worse than the actual day. Today, however, I have been feeling the loneliness and, really, still the feeling of unfairness that he was taken too soon. For June 16 and again for today, I put a dozen red roses, Ed's favorite flower, at his gravesite. They don't really last long because of the heat this time of year, even though I check them and water them every day that they still look decent. It's just sort of my visible tribute to him, even if I'm the only one who sees it.

Two Hearts friends, Pam and Pat, were married in May. It was a lovely wedding. Our group especially appreciated the tributes Pam and Pat each paid to their deceased spouses. I came up with the idea for and coordinated our gifts to the newlyweds. My friend Cheryl hand-painted lovely floral designs on cards that allowed us each to write our own sentiments inside, then we each enclosed a Bob Evans gift card--so appropriate since we still get together for supper every Wednesday at the same Bob Evans we started going to back when we were in the grief support group. Pam and Pat were sure we would do something raunchy or embarrassing as a gift, and they were so thrilled--and relieved--at what we did.

I was in Iowa in the days around Memorial Day to help Melissa, Mark, and Will move into and get settled in their new home. They have a beautiful, spacious house with a very large yard. There was already a two-level playhouse, slide, climbing wall, and swing set in the yard, and Will loves it. Now when I visit, I have my own bedroom and bathroom. Will loves the Chicago Cubs colors of his bedroom, and the new baby's room is awaiting the new arrival in August.

Other than driving out to Iowa for the new baby's birth, I don't have any summer plans. Just taking each day as it comes, keeping up the property and house, taking advantage of free outdoor concerts for entertainment, and of course gathering with my friends.